December 14, 2007
Pretty funny I thought. I stumbled across this pic when I somehow ended up on the main page of photobucket. Although if you look at the lettering, you can tell that whoever changed the top line. Highly amusing.
But seriously, leave a comment or the duck is getting whacked!
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December 8, 2007
I’m sure this has been talked to death already, but does anyone know who exactly is suppose to show up to this World War III party Bush was talking about? According to the Evangelical whack-jobs out there, I believe their version of this scenario is that Iran shoots a nuke at Israel, they (and we) respond in kind, and then for some reason Russia gets involved? If I’m not mistaken, aren’t these the exact same religious zealots who were saying that China was suppose to be the prophesied great evil not too long ago? And I think at least one of them was proclaiming that the year 2000 was suppose to mark the start of the second coming (or something to that effect)? I think he was even peddling a book about it. Jack van something I think. Anywho, why is Russia going to bother? I mean yes, they do have a few billion tied up with Iran and it is currently to their advantage to cozy up to them so Putan can stick it in the eye to Bush, but is that really enough to draw Russia in? I think not. 1) They have vast natural resource reserves of their own (and if we and Israel laid waste to Iran, won’t the oil reserves in Russia become even more valuable?), 2) Their financial dealings with the European Union are far and away more lucrative and stable over the long term, and 3) They are an emerging (or reemerging) power on the world stage. Why on Earth would they want to screw it up with a war over Iran (who by the way would be the guilty one here since they would have started this scenario by attacking Israel)? If this scenario did happen, Russia would have to make a choice. Go with the bad guys (an image they are trying to shake) or go with the rest of the world an enjoy their new found economic and political power? The choice is obvious for me, it is unfortunate that the Evangelical Legion of Doom seems to think to the contrary. Has Bush or anyone in his administration ever spelled out this scenario? I’ve been paying attention and I don’t think so. Maybe I’m wrong. As far as I can tell, Bush seems to think that Amadinajad is suppose to just wake up one morning and decide to attack Israel. Does anyone realize that he does not have the power to make such a decision? Although I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that Kaptain Koo-Koo wouldn’t know that. And doesn’t the latest NIE that is all the buzz these days demonstrate that more rational minds are in control behind the curtains in Iran? They had a weapons program, then after careful consideration, decided that it wasn’t in their best interest to continue pursuing it. Now I’m not saying that we should leave Iran to their own devices or embrace them as life long chums, but I think this rhetoric is a bit over the top. Aaaa, what do I know. I’m just a grasshopper.
December 7, 2007
So it finally got around to snowing, woo-whoo! I want to say that it helped with the humidity because my poor, dry stuffed-up nose doesn’t feel quite so painful, but eh, maybe that’s just wishful thinking. I’m not sure how the woodland critters feel about it though (actually, I think the footie prints in the picture below are of the stray cat who comes around panhandling for grub). And of course, it warmed up today just enough for a little melting today only for it to freeze into a nice sheet of ice for tomorrow’s drive. This should be fun.
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December 5, 2007
Yes, holy mackerel indeed. Today was one of those obnoxiously cold days. The one where the wind blows so hard and is so cold that it feels like your face is being sandblasted? And yet, the air is so incredibly dry that there is no possible chance for snow. If it is going to be this torturesly cold, the least it could do is snow. If that weren’t bad enough, the air is sooo unbelievably dry that from my nose to the back of my throat, nothin’ but sandpaper. And not just any kind of dry, the kind of dry that is so bad that every breath feels like a paper-cut inside of my nose. I actually find myself holding my breath for as long as I can when I’m outside just to avoid the pain. Hmm, live or pain. And of course, my body thinks it’s doing me a favor by overreacting to the whole thing by completely closing off one side of my nose, which of course only makes the pain on the other side that much worse. I’m currently hopped-up on benedryl to try to take the worst of the edge off, but the only thing that seems to be doing is giving me that discombobulated feeling. You know, the one where you stop walking, but it feels like your still moving? That and the feeling that I could topple over at any minute asleep. And if you think about it, it makes absolutely no sense. Shouldn’t a runny nose keep it from drying out? And don’t even get me started on my corneas. By the time this hell is over with, they will have been filed down to the width of an onion skin. The only light at the end of this tunnel is that a system is suppose to move through later tonight or tomorrow. Hopefully this will drive up the humidity. This is one grasshopper who is not happy.
December 1, 2007
Back in July I wrote two little blurbs about me hopping around (again, I’m a grasshopper) and running (or hopping) into a rather suspicious looking bug who recently moved into the neighborhood. We exchanged pleasantries, but never really made a connection. I had a feeling I should keep my distance and it turns out it was with good reason. Looks like this mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging troglodyte of an insect is a member of a large family of predatory insects. Bugs such the: assassin bug, ambush bug, masked hunter, and kissing bug. They lay in wait, then attack by stabbing their victims with their proboscis injecting a toxic concoction that liquefies the inerts. Tasty. There are also members that go after warm-blooded animals (including humans) by stabbing soft areas of the body such as lips, eyes, and inside nose. Sleep tight. Oh, and some transmit disease such as Chagas by passing along a lovely little trypanosome. A little late to learn of this now, but the good thing is that about a week after my last post, I found the little bugger dead in the bushes. Didn’t have my trusty camera at the time. First post is here, there-goes-the-neighborhood and the second is here, hey-punk-get-off-my-lawn.
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November 29, 2007
…pot heads. That’s right. The Whos in Whoville are a bunch of potheads. Originally written in 1957 by Dr. Seuss, he apparently ushers in the smoke-filled era of the 60’s with his seemingly innocent book, How the Grinch stole Christmas!, which was later turned into a cartoon in 1966. The whole premise of the story is about how “The Man” (the Grinch) is trying to be a buzz-kill by taking away all the “presents” (i.e. drugs and drug paraphernalia) of the Whos. I guess, at least in the beginning, this story was more of an intervention than anything else. The Grinch was trying to do the right thing. Unfortunately, as most Hollywood stories go, the poor Grinch succumbs to the peer pressure, joins in, and apparently enjoys his decision. To make matters worse, Max, the dog, (obviously the existential manifestation of the Grinch’s conscience), also joins in. Perhaps to symbolize the Grinch totally giving himself over?
So what evidence do I have for this? Well, they are as follows and I quote, “Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos’ feast! He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!” Q.E.D.
So how did I come up with such an outlandish idea? Well, I was sitting on the couch, stuffing my face with Cheetos while watching the Grinch yesterday and, you get the rest.
November 29, 2007
So I was snooping around my stats recently and noticed something a bit odd in the “search engine terms” section. A few days ago someone(s), or maybe an obsessive compulsive web spider, found this here little hovel on the net by searching for various versions of “Chris Hansen” (a reporter on the NBC show Dateline) and “dead”. As it turns out, if you search for this on Google, I come up number two, odd. While I am of the belief that the whole Dateline crew is among the bigger jokes in the world of journalism (along with 48 hours and all those other sham shows – I mean, common, there are other stories out there besides murder mysteries), I would never wish them ill will. It’s not like they are Entertainment Tonight or Extra. Althoughhh, come to think of it, I haven’t actually seen or heard anything about him in awhile. Hmmm, maybe someone put the hit out on him and they are looking on the internet for independent confirmation before they pay up. <maniacal laugh> Now if this person would just hurry up and deal with the rest of them </maniacal laugh>.
Oh, and the previous posts that seem to have attracted all the attention are, “‘To catch a commercial’, Chris Hansen the journalist” and “‘To catch the point (of a story)’, with Chris Hansen“.
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November 29, 2007
Ya, I guess I should get around to doing this. It’s kinda like when you move and a year later you still have boxes around? Some time ago, the good people at WordPress finally decided to stop hitting themselves with the silly stick and separate “categories” from “tags”. It’s like what css did for html, which allowed you to separate the appearance and structure of a document from it’s content. This little switch allows you to separate the organization of your articles from their description. End result? No more mile long category lists, duh. So over the next few weeks, months, years, decades, I suppose I should get around to fixing my stuff to reflect this leading-edge technological innovation. Uuuh. Good thing I don’t have hundreds of articles.
November 25, 2007
So I actually saw this story on the BBC two days ago and thought it was interesting. But then, the NBC nightly news decided to steal my idea and talk about it first. I mean, yes, ultimately we are both stealing the story, but, hey, 1) I’m a small fry and 2) at least I’m not claiming authorship, so there.
Wow, talk about being a few years behind. Seems the nouveau riche in Russia are going through the pangs of excess that the obscenely wealthy in the US went through in the ‘80s. Recently, the “Millionaire Fair” was held in Moscow. Among the diamond-encrusted Mercedes, helicopters, and luxury properties, stood my future prize possession, the Siberian woolly mammoth coffee table. Not particularly impressive for $270 thousand clams, but just think of the status symbol aspect. Hmm, status symbol.
But, seeing as how all my other furniture is made of baby whale’s teeth, it wouldn’t really go with the décor. So, I decided to pass. Oh, and if you wanted to read the story you’ll find it here.
November 24, 2007
Yes, after a brief period of laziness, I’m back to the blather. I got distracted with other interesting things and thus refrained from polluting this here intraweb with more of my pointless drivel. But no more! I’m back. So much to whine/talk about.
Actually, one of those interests is more of a reemerging interest. I like web technologies. I like playing around with web sites. And more recently, I’ve become interested in attracting those fickle little web arachnids. Or as you might know them, search engine spiders (or bots). Seems pretty cool. So cool in fact that I’m running a little experiment. I want to see if I can get a decent ranking in Google for a few terms (or keywords). Rather than further dilute this aimless blog, I decided to start up another one over on blogspot (deadgrasshopper.blogspot.com). That’s were I will document my adventures in being an SEO monger, and scrape my own content to try to entice those web varmints to come by and sniff around. So if you should be looking around this blog and see a completely unrelated link (called a non-contextual link), oh, I don’t know, say, at the bottom of one of my articles, that will be one of hopefully many feeble attempts on my part to lay some spider bait. Here spidey, spidey, spidey…
(psst) Don’t look now, but I think there is one right below us.