Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

Forget Puff the Magic Dragon, all the Whos in Whoville are a bunch of…

November 29, 2007

…pot heads. That’s right. The Whos in Whoville are a bunch of potheads. Originally written in 1957 by Dr. Seuss, he apparently ushers in the smoke-filled era of the 60’s with his seemingly innocent book, How the Grinch stole Christmas!, which was later turned into a cartoon in 1966. The whole premise of the story is about how “The Man” (the Grinch) is trying to be a buzz-kill by taking away all the “presents” (i.e. drugs and drug paraphernalia) of the Whos. I guess, at least in the beginning, this story was more of an intervention than anything else. The Grinch was trying to do the right thing. Unfortunately, as most Hollywood stories go, the poor Grinch succumbs to the peer pressure, joins in, and apparently enjoys his decision. To make matters worse, Max, the dog, (obviously the existential manifestation of the Grinch’s conscience), also joins in. Perhaps to symbolize the Grinch totally giving himself over?

So what evidence do I have for this? Well, they are as follows and I quote, “Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos’ feast! He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!” Q.E.D.

So how did I come up with such an outlandish idea? Well, I was sitting on the couch, stuffing my face with Cheetos while watching the Grinch yesterday and, you get the rest.

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Bush countdown clock! (get one for your blog)

August 27, 2007

Arrrrrrgh! Crap on a stick. Due to the limitations of the free blog (I suspect), WP keeps stripping out the code needed to show the clock. Well, this was certainly anticlimactic. Maybe I should migrate over to blogbspot (I know it works with them). Its still cool though, so clearly you need to go here.

The NFL and Michael Vick

August 24, 2007

Perhaps its that tiny shred of innocence that is still left in me that is so shocked at the apparent lack of concern the NFL seems to be displaying for the brutality that Vick has now admitted to. At what point do we loose that innocence? That part of you that shy’s away from the evils of man. I actually heard a news story in which they played a blurb from one of the sports shows in Atlanta. One of the hosts actually said that he didn’t care what Vick did and that if he owned a team, and if Vick was cut from the Falcons, that he would pay whatever it took to get him. I’m left wondering if it is possible for there to be any more of a worthless person than this individual (I wish I remember his name). I suppose it is possible that he was simply trying to drum up the ratings, but does that make his statements any more acceptable? What would Vick have to do before that poster child for abortion says enough is enough? But I digress. It seems to me that what the NFL is really waiting for is to see how much marketability Vick still has. Of course, their official line is that they want to see how the gambling charges play out. Gambling?… Gambling? In the list of obscenities that Vick has admitted to, gambling is what the NFL is focused on? Could it be that they are focused on this because there is more legal wiggle room? It certainly appears that Vick’s defense team understands this. They are trying to pacify the prosecution by admitting to the lesser charge while fighting tooth and nail on the gambling. Basically saying, “Accept what we are giving you or we will make this as expensive as we can for the taxpayers.” Let’s say he does wiggle out (his defense is saying that while he financed the gambling, he never participated in or benefited from the gambling itself). What should do the NFL do? Allow him to continue to play? Basically sanctioning his behavior much like the Senate sanctioned the sexual overtures Mark Foley made to Congressional Pages? Beating, drowning, hanging, and electrocuting any animal (not so sure about plants) in and of itself should be the only provocation the NFL needs. The cynic in me says that the NFL and that radio host are just as bastardly as Vick. I’m still trying to hold on to that shred of innocence, but the older I get, the more fleeting it becomes.

Gotta hankering to rob a bank? Then you need to go to…

August 5, 2007

Hessmer Louisiana. This tinny town of ~650 people has two police cars. Well, they used to anyway. Actually, I guess technically they still do. Problem is that neither of them works. One was in a wreck and the other must be union because it just upped and stopped working last Sunday. And due to some crazy law, the police can’t answer calls in personal vehicles. Looks like Christmas has come early to all the scofflaws out there. Apparently there is more to the story than just a funny little blurb. Turns out that the city got $100,000 from insurance to either repair or replace the first cruiser and have been sitting on the money for around two months or so. In an effort to coax the city government to get off their duffs, Hessmer’s police chief, Mack Villemarette, put a large sign outside of the station saying, “Village of Hessmer: the only police car is broken. If you need assistance contact the mayor and council.” Even more amusing when you consider that neither knew he was going to do it. Has anyone seen my robbin’ mask?